Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Space, tea, and tranquility

How I arrived here...

...a cup of tea while toddlers nap
I've been getting more and more frustrated lately.  Part of it is being the mother of a one year old (parents, you  know what I'm talking about).  But a bigger part of it is not organizing and compartmentalizing my day.  Maybe some people are way better at multi-tasking than I am, so if that's you, congratulations.  See, initially, I thought that there wouldn't be much change from being a stay at home mom to being a work at home mom.  I mean, how cool that I can patter away on the laptop, lounging on the couch while my darling toddler plays contentedly at my feet.  Oh, yeah, add to the mental imagery an always fresh mug of hot jasmine green tea steaming on the end table next to me.  (Speaking of which, I'm going to go put some water on.)  While we are at it, let's just go ahead and imagine I look like Angelina Jolie.  Reality is that I feel like I'm spending all day pecking at the keyboard in between learning new ninja-mommy moves to defend the coveted computer from our daughter's constant assault.  She is trying to climb up on me and close the laptop and starts that irritating complaining cry.  One of her toys hits home - I don't know what key it is, but this girl nails it every stinking time! - and eradicates the last 1/2 hour's worth of progress, meager though it might be.  I'm shooting evil looks at my husband because "I'm trying to WORK, here!", I holler in my mind.  (Ahhh, my tea.  Can you smell the heady, optimistic jasmine?)  Eventually, I leave him and the little emotional wreck to go to the bedroom to get something done.  The first 5 minutes are spent straightening the kinks in my brain and wishing I had some tea, but not daring leave the momentary sanctuary.  Not even to go to the bathroom.  Oh, on top of that, the child has decided not to go to sleep at night on her own.  ?!  She has been the most awesome go-to-bed-er ever.  In all of history.  In the entire universe.  How am I going to do anything if I have to go to sleep with her?  It hasn't helped that both Daddy and Daughter are sick.

My two sickies can be quite precious.
I can't go on like this.  I am neither productive with the computer stuff, nor the mommy stuff.  And that's not to mention the wife stuff, or household stuff.  I'm on the verge of saying hurtful things.  Biting back all kinds of spite, I told Chad, "I'm not in a healthy place in my mind.  And I haven't been for a while."

Thus, last night, C offered to lay down with Ana while I wrap up my day at my own pace, in peace.  It was wonderful.  I don't think I have ever enjoyed flossing my teeth so much.  As I was going about my business, I got thinking that since I'm going to bed earlier than usual, why don't I wake up earlier than my child and enjoy some more of this peace.  Get a jump start, be one step ahead, instead of dragging behind.  Oh, just the vision of sipping some Earl Grey while looking at the family calender and getting a feel for the upcoming week felt like all kinds of right.

I awoke this morning, before Ana, got her all snuggled in with Daddy, and not only took a shower, but cleaned off the kitchen table for the first time in months as well (wish I had a before picture).  Then, over tea, I looked over the calender.  Today, I'll be watching Ana's little buddy all day.  Got it.  Then changed some items on our website AiramanaHeirlooms.com,  caught up on emails, and checked in on all our social networking accounts, and started a list of thing I'd like to accomplish today.  Those of you who know me might be surprised at this.  But I have found that if I don't have a list, I get so overwhelmed that when I do have a moment, I spend it spacing out and become even more overwhelmed, and then defeated because I just wasted some perfectly good time for doing stuff.  So, I made a list fully knowing that not all will get done, and that's ok.  Then, as if that wasn't enough, and hearing that she was awake in the bedroom with Chad, I made Ana's breakfast.  Before she could do that hungry, complaining cry, she was in her high chair, bib and all, with her morning yogurt smoothie.  It is amazing what a mom can do when she has both arms and her mind all to herself.  GOAL!!

My new morning office
P.S.  Thank you, Chad for the moments of peace!

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